"But each of us is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desires. Then when desire conceives, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is full grown, it gives birth to death." - James 1:14-15
What is that desire that seems to stir you to pursue lustful activity? Every man has a sex drive. But not every man understands what that driving force wants to really accomplish. Thus, too often men feel the tug of the drive and seek short term immediate gratification rather than its real aim. What's that aim? A fulfilling, spectacular, relationship with an amazing woman with whom you will go and bear fruit for God.
Discern the real aim of the desire. What does it really seek to achieve - long term; after all, God created you in His image with this sexual drive, a drive that can and will produce godly results. Delayed gratification is the secret to success in many arena. So let this desire compel you to pursue its real goal. Let it prompt you to become a more sensitive husband, to be a better provider that a Christian woman would want for herself and her future family. Let this desire drive you to get spiritually, financially, and even physically fit.
Make Four Lists
- Make a List of the Benefits of my Purity
- Make a List of the Painful Consequences if I remain Impure
- Make a List of the Painful Consequences if I end this Impurity
- Make a List of the Benefits of my Sexual Drive (remember that you are created in the Image of God, by God with this biological drive)
Long Term Fulfillment of our Desires
- Marriage, Children, Family, Legacy
- Love, Respect, Intimacy, Integrity, Honor, Joy
Short Term Fulfillment/Corruptions of my Desires
- Pornography, Masturbation (sticky guilt)
- Flirtations, Sex Chat Rooms, Texting, “It’s Just Lunch”, Immorality
Short Term Solutions for Long Term Fulfillment
- Singles:
- Responsibility, Spirituality, Initiative, Sensitivity, Fitness, Career
- For example: get a job, get a job, finish my degree, go on a prayer walk, serve someone, workout, ask advice, get a job
- Marrieds:
- Sensitivity/Compassion, Selfless Service, Protective Love, Wash with Word, Emotional Intimacy, Empathy
- For example: brew tea, bring her lunch, guard her sleep, share my quiet time, discuss my fears and dreams, ask “how are you?”